Different chick, same blowjob, same parking lot.
i think i just heard my dad finish in the other room...
He went around feeding all the high kids pretzels. He's like their god now
he needs a life. he was like frothing at the mouth to cockblock you
He picked me up went to throw me on his bed. I landed on the wood frame. That's how I broke my rib. We still fucked. Thanks tequila. Best injury ever
He tried to reenact Braveheart's freedom scream but got tackled by his drunk roommate who thought he was yelling that the handle he was holding up was free.
Lol I wish they went straight to your cock then shot out into my mouth like a cock nacho dispenser
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Hey, if a dude can't randomly belt out Whitney Houston tunes from time to time, is life really worth living??
HOW THE FUCK IS IT POSSIBLE THAT THE JUNIOR HIGH STUDENT IS BETTER AT BEING AN ADULT THAN I AM!?!?
this dude is way too smart. he just explained to me the different scientific components of drugs while we smoked. i said i loved icecream.
Ya know. I was thinking of my slutty moments the other day and finally know which one makes the number 1 spot.
I really love you. Like, more than tequila...& we both know that's my favorite.
Is there any reason why a taxidermic donkey head is in the shower?
Nah, we’re just sitting around talking about different kinds of boners
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