If you die in college, do you die in real life?
id like to know how you successfully locked me in your backseat last night
I have not carelessly put myself in herpes way since I got a clean bill of health tyvm.
dude, I feel like I need to get my gf's roommate a gift. something that says, sorry you walked in on me getting blown. suggestions?
That little tingle vodka gives me in my esphagus is what lets me know I'm still alive.
Fuck Sunday funday. Fuck real pants. Fuck the sun. Fuck Jameson. Fuck my life. Yes, I am hungover as shit sitting in my office eating bacon.
There where 3 half naked girls passed out on the pool table, I crawled under it and just as I was about to go to sleep some guy walks up and says: "dude nice spot" walks away and comes back with a pillow.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
And you will no longer be getting a thank you note from my vagina
All I can think of is a mama duck followed by her baby ducks, in brightly colored track shoes.
How high are you?
We smoked before the sunrise hike. I ended up eating a banana and singing Circle of Life as the sun rose over the horizon.
Am I the only one who saw the used condom in the driveway this morning
I've washed my hands three times and it still smells like Astroglide.
Ever try to swallow something and have it go up into your nose instead? Yeah, I just sneezed bacon.
Im going for myspace 2006 goth bitch. Your worst nightmare
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