New record: 45 minutes. Afterwards I played We Are The Champions while we cuddled.
I briefly wondered why they weren't in school, but after the tinier one shouted "check out dem titties!" I had my answer
i am going to show so many millionaires my nipple
I found the hair cut I want on the girl in the porno I'm watching. now really sure how to show my stylist.
Definitely sounds like it's time for some eggs with a side of strap on
I went to the bathroom, came back, and my friend was sleeping leaning up against the stripper pole.
Remember that girl that we found passed out in the dorm study room under a pile of money and jimmy johns wrappers? She's standing right on front of me.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
Apparently nick called me at 3 in the morning looking for you because you ate your keys and ran away..do I need to call an ambulance.
He offered to take me to my appointment after breakfast then kind of just sat there and watched me get a papsmier. Most awkward first date ever.
Some dude just said my hair smells like his pillows
I almost got an A in organic chem but started hallucinating during the final so I got a C
it'll be like the notebook except for with way more of my penis
Like every two minutes he would pull out and whipser "don't you do it, you bastard" while looking at his penis. His new name in my phone is 'penis whisperer'
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
Randomize