No seriously, I have to sell the house because my wife found out I'm gay.
come pick me up. please. i just puked in my lap. bring pants.
You were waisted for 48 hours and the only 3 words you said were yup, sure, and michigan
That was the first time I have seen a confused expression with a dick in the mouth
What can I say, I'm a giver.
Smoking up the homeless at 3am does not make you a humanitarian.
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
WE'RE FINALLY ADMITTING THAT WE DESPERATELY WANT TO SCREW EACH OTHER. THIS IS WHAT PROGRESS FEELS
I would not be watching the debate if there wasn't drinking involved. Let's be honest.
Nothing says casual like stairwell bjs
So my new thing apparently is getting wasted, showing people my slytherin socks and convincing them I'm slytherin..because why not
You WHAT?!?!
Paid. A. Homeless. Guy. To. Throw. A. Drink. In. Her. Face.
I fucking love you.
Your cat ate my taco.
. . . I don't have a cat?
It was laying in your bed. Now it's hunting for more tacos.
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
I lost my cyber virginity to a guy I barely knew in high school while a Togepi Plushie watched.
It's done, I'm done, goodbye veneer of class and dignity it was nice knowing you
Randomize
