So yes it WAS her period, NOT a nose bleed.
he was sending me dirty texts but i was watchin nickeloden and couldnt get into it
im ashamed your my cousin
She made me put my jeans under her mattress so that I wouldn't leave in the morning while she was still sleeping. Apparently I just look like "that guy".
Did you ask last night's taxi driver about his penis hygiene?
the bouncer watched the girl drop her ID, saw me pick it up and say OMG SHE LOOKS LIKE ME, and then let me use it to get into the bar
I'm Still in a robe trying to piece together 3-7am I'll be there in a few
Just saw my bank statement. It literally goes liquor store pizza place liquor store pizza place bar bar bar liquor store pizza place 711 for snacks withdrawl for drugs rinse and repeat
Guys, right now i need a picture of a squirrel, preferably with one of you guys but not necessary.
Drunk me thinks I can light up a cig anywhere, sober me finds this hilarious and highly irresponsible. The grocery store is not a bar.
Haunted Houses: fun, lame, or love to sneak off and get fingered in the dark alley way?
she's the poster child for how alcoholism can be fun.
I'm more than my video games and dildo collection
First morning at school this semester and I threw up in a bush during my walk of shame.
wish he had known he had poison ivy on his cock beforehand... Is calamine okay to put on your vag?..
So then edible panties?
Jesus no he likes candy too much, I'd lose a lip
Randomize
