you definitely held a convo with a hobo
we have a secret handshake
At least we don't have one night stands
True that. We sink our claws in our men.
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
Agreed. Everyone should experience a blackout before 3pm in their lifetime.
You could probably play six degrees of separation of my cock in this city.
Hey man. We haven't met but my name is Ben. I threw up a bunch at your house last night. I heard you smoke though so I'll smoke you out anytime.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Are we going to go home and do it or do I have time to eat my nachos bell grande first?
It's my birthday weekend! I'm getting a Brazilian and he's going to fucking Arkansas. Where the fuck are his priorities?
Look, if a guy shows up at your house. He's short, name is Logan, has weird vertical hair, let him in, give him food, and a place to stay. He's on a ver important mission. And I am he. as he is me and we are all together. And we are the eggman, goo goo gajoob.
Pretty penis doesn't make up for awkward eye contact.
when i woke up with rugburns on the tops of my feet, knees, and chin i was a little confused. and then i remembered i had sex with him in his friends walk in closet.
I would give away three of my own ribs to be able to eat myself out.
...ew
I just elbowed a roll of wrapping paper, and said “ohh sorry”. I’m still drunk.
Randomize
