Buhtt sex?
if I could go back to kindergarten and not fuck up my life, I so would.
Just TALKING to him is better than banging my bf, imagine what actual banging will be like.
you looked up at me mid puke with tears in your eyes and asked to make sure no one took your turn at Wii
yeah, and when i walked in on them fucking he said "go away, i'm making sons."
I am trapped in a bar with french tattooed drug dealers who also blow glass art. Just in case this is bad, know what happened.
Do you know how hard it is to maintain a conversation with someone who just told you they put their cat in the fridge on purpose?
I'm obsessing over hocus pocus right now. What if I change my Grindr profile to "come little children, I'll take thee away to a land of enchantment"
The Winnie the Pooh costume was great until you got drunk and started yelling at the kids asking for pictures.
Piñatas plus fireworks don't mix well
tell me you did not just describe yourself as "hot and bothered"
Senior week was like trying to herd cats. Very drunk cats.
The hotel had a helipad. Of course we had sex on it.
Serious question, on a scale of go for it to what the fuck are you thinking, what's me going to a monk or any religious official and saying "baptize me daddy" in a serious voice?
So I have a horrible yeast infection right now and I learned that Scott is cheating on me and now he has a yeast infection in his mouth and in his stomach a pretty aggressive one too. I believe the doctors call it thrush. Text me in the morning tell me what you think.
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