My grandpa is talking about laundry and he asked if i could run a "small hot load." Wow. I had to leave the room.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
Him cheating on his girlfriend resulted in a $1500 hospital bill from repeated blows to his testicles by my ass. They diagnosed his pain as "testicle trauma". Sex karma at it's finest.
he was too drunk to climb up my loft. i owe my beating teen pregnancy to four pieces of steel
I am going to dream of scrotums tonight, I just know it.
Come get me we have a petting zoo to throw up in.
Also, I'm going to TRY and be casual this weekend, but really, we need to be serious about equally dividing our time between party and bullshit.
New BDSM fun fact. When you get spanked hard enough with a flat object, you get welts. Welcome to thunderdome, bitches.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
Tacos and sex are way better than any anti depressant pill ever was. I think I made a medical discovery here.
New guy moved in the apartment next door. He's a combat vet, 6'4", Adonis body and going to med school. My vagina is chewing thru the wall as we speak.
We were like one big happy Eskimo family.
I love you but this is the first Saturday I have ever spent at the police station. And where are my boxers?
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