My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
This is some kinda fucked up sordid doggy brothel peepshow bullshit.
Time to put an end to this 'unprotected sex with crazy girls who have violent exes' trip I've been on so far this summer
If your pregnant with his baby maybe we can start getting weed for free.
If a video of someone that looks like me banging that chick on the hood of her car in some parking lot suddenly shows up on the web... let me know, I gotta see how that turned out.
I'm not holding out much hope. She met me in a nighclub when I was arguing with the cigarette machine
I just want you to know that I hid the weed. Once you find another job, I'll tell you where it is. Happy Hunting, bro.
Overall win. We all know who got to sleep on the concrete outside of Denny's with you.
I spent the whole party making out with some guy. He wasn't that cute but six of my sorority sisters are fighting over him so I had to do something..
ders ninda duuude pooring goden shots ov glory. I see em an i dont but there hear.
are you attempting voice recognition while drunk again?
Just spread butter on my bathrobe. This has been an ace morning.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
I think we should have a sex position advent calendar
Waxing your own asshole is awkward and difficult at best.
tell him if he brings over dinner you might let him see your left boob...or right, whichever you prefer. But under no circumstances do you let him see both...unless he brings a good desert...like coffee ice cream or something
Randomize
