Lavender boy was great at seduction and crappy in bed.
i wish exes would disappear into a world where we never have to deal with them again, and they can just create drama for each other. Then if they wanted to talk to us, they would have to apply to get a "visa" to come back to our world.
I'm drinking early times at a fridays on wednesday night. This entire bar is going to see my dick by last call.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
Gay TA. Finally going to boost my GPA your way.
and she just brought her bike into the shower with her
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Don't be alarmed at the girl laying on your bathroom floor.
FridayRule: If it takes you longer than 5 minutes to find a parking spot, you don't have class today
They were supposed to legalize it when there was a chance someone might actually propose to me. I'm appealing this bullshit.
Dude. I need you to practice dancing around in your banana hamock. Party boy style. I'll call later with details.
Just found an airplane bottle of whiskey and I didn't put it in my coffee. I think I deserve a little recognition this morning.
dollar rum and cokes, see you on the dark side of infinity
Pride log, day two. Noticing more bruises and scrapes. Liver functions probably very lowered.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Randomize
