I just saw a hot homeless man
that knocking you heard last night......that was her head slowly going through the wall
dudes here are drinking wine, and not in the forgivable 'just doing this to get laid' way
Based on how hungover I feel today, it makes more sense that the bouncer didn't let me in to that bar.
Yes perhaps we are both wrong. And did you call me bj girl?
If your nipples ruin my wedding photos I will kill you.
My condoms might be a little big for you but hey, a big sweater is better than no sweater at all when it's cold right?
I also point out to everyone that she looks like DJ's gf on Roseanne.
I discovered a new stretch mark. DONE. LITERALLY DONE.
You know you were way drunk when you wake up at 7 AM halfway on a couch, tangled in a sheet with your shoes still on.
He's a doctor now.. hope he can cure his small dick
I just drank beer out of an old Vicodin bottle hoping to catch some residue. That's how finals week is going
But, if I start dating you brother, I can't talk to you about the sex anymore!! Like... Can we talk about it anonymously?! I just won't use his name.
Turns out, the guy I'm casually fucking has a girlfriend who's cheating on him with my sister's boyfriends brother who I fucked last year. And my sex life has now come full circle.
Yeah that was post sex. I was thinking in my mind, no wonder he didnt ask me to call him daddy since he actually is a dad
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