Are you okay?
Don't worry. Self-respect preserved. My speech was Grey's quality... I made him cry.
i just found five singles in my underwear?! im suspicious but delighted none the less
I bet a guy could be masturbating under the table now and people would just think he was clapping along.
Fact: Telling a guy he has erectile dysfunction doesn't solve the problem.
i looked up his schedule, waited outside his classroom, and handed him the receipt for plan b
she reminds me of the kind of girl who'd fuck in church if you asked. I can dig it.
like we started out all organized and composed and within thirty mins people were throwing up in the bushes, arguing over a beer bong and jumping in the pool with their clothes on
I could get a dump truck for 1000. Think of the possibilities.
That reminds me of that one time you handcuffed me to a table leg while I was reaching for the vodka.
Watch the news tonight. They interviewed me about a fire. I was high as balls so it should be entertaining.
I was the only one at the party that didn't get their name taken by the police. I'm convinced that I'm the main character of Ferris Bueller's Drunken Adventures.
I swear some just paged for more cock rings over the intercom.
His reasoning for leaving the keys in the ignition of my car overnight with the top down in an open parking lot ? Too eager to have sex. The sex was not that good for him to do this twice....
I was just thinking about all the dick I could catch while I am home. But then I realized I am too lazy to get out of my pjs and leave my cat.
That's why my boobs are so big, they're full of secrets.
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