he's making romantic advances towards me. and he has a pet snake. 2nd part not relevant, but interesting.
Just found out my brother beats off to Lauren Conrad. the Hills will never be the same.
I wouldnt endorse that guy if he was walking in a walkathon to raise money for a disease i had
Well, of course, to the untrained eye I look like a slut.
his extensive knowledge of the age of consent laws kinda scares me....
When did it seem like a good idea to do pull ups off the balcony? After beer 5 or shot 7?
pre-gaming in the library. just gonna keep going until i'm too drunk to keep working and then i'll be there.
Get dressed, I have 50$ and you need a new beer pong table since we threw yours off the 8th floor last night.
No need to get angry I'm just tryin to get my door back
Hahaahaah I keep finding little notes you left me on my physics notes... "TOO HIGH FOR BIRDS"
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
Let's fuck under the stars. And by under the stars I mean in my bed underneath my glow in the dark star stickers.
I feel as if I need Plan B just being in the same room as them for more than 5 minutes.
Life without a bra equals bliss.
Like if I exploded right now there would be cum and fajitas everywhere.
Randomize
