Just got my rental car in Iowa...gas is under 2 dollars in des moines...this is not a real state
Stop being a whore!!! Everyone can see!!!!
It's too hard to jack off and hold an ipad at the same time
you're wrong. we DID have sex last night. just ask your roommate. you seriously don't remember him asking to join us?
please dont ever try to drink horizontally again. I thought I was going to have to give you cpr
Its not low standards. We're more of like a self esteem camp for average girls
Want to come over and play therapist and then fuck all the emotion away?
So much for doing Irish car bombs in my grandpa's memory.... Asshole.
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
Not sure what happened last night, but I woke up without a shirt on and cereal glued to my boobs...
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
I almost accidentally threw him out a window during sex last night.
Welcome to your 30’s, where every one night stand is most likely with someone’s father
He stopped me mid-blow job to say that his new year's resolution was to stop hooking up. MID FUCKING BLOW JOB.
27 year olds can still do oral in a car right? Or is that trashy?
Randomize
