i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
Just found 50 pesos and a coke spoon in my dads old shit. Gotta love the 70s
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
You look at her and you just know the only action she's gotten is from her tampon..
The chance that I have herpes may have made me find god
Just desperately used the "it's a boy" cigar I saved from my\nnephews birth to roll a blunt
You ended at least 6 stories with "and that's why I don't snort coke anymore"
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
I puked right in front of him after winning beer olympics and he still hooked up with me. My life is so easy.
He called it restless penis syndrome. I call it cheating.
It's seriously like a finger. But it's a cock. I don't know what to do. I feel like I fuck him to be polite.
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
But don't thank me for faking being asleep, if I was the real wing man, I would have left the bed
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
He's such a neat freak that he started making the bed while I was still laying on it naked. He succeed in case you were wondering.
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