FYI: if you have sex in your room with the light on, we can totally see your shadows from the parking lot
Your boyfriend has good rhythm though.
whatever sunny in Philadelphia does on Thursday nights, I'm doing all weekend.
And as you crawled into the bathroom last night you repeatedly said "I know the routine".
Clearly, I'm already going to hell, so there's no point in trying anymore.
Want to get naked in Baltimore this weekend?
It's amazing how not interested in talking to him I am since I've decided that he probably has chlamydia.
Your little brother is asking me for an "expert opinion" on his dick size.
How do i politely tell him his dick looks like it went thru a meat grinder?
I was puking in the bathroom when my fake tooth fell off of my retainer so I just walked out of the bar and didn't say goodbye to my date
I'm bored enough im considering taking up his offer to turn me straight just to kill time until the lasagna is out of the oven
Woke up in the ER with a nurse holding my tongue together inside of my mouth and a shattered jaw, the last thing I remember is opening the 151, care to fill me in?
I seriously doubt I'm gonna be able to properly put your dick in my mouth whilst upside down, but I'm willing to give it my best shot
Ask me if I'm sitting naked in a lawn chair eating a block of cheese waiting for a bacon grilled cheese sandwich
Found an elderly homeless guy with a Gandalf beard passed out on my porch. I put a Santa hat over his erect dick cause he was naked.
...its technically supposed to be for the bridal shower but I think I can find an ensemble that says "im hopped up on x. Stick your tongue down my throat." As well as " im supporting your marriage to my brother"
Randomize