9 beers later and she still looks like Gary Busey.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
We've shared an experience, my friend. I, too, have talked on the phone with a parent while giving a handjob
I know its been a few months but you must know you hve the 2nd biggest dick I've ever seen. 1st place went to a rapper so don't feel bad.
Out of beer. Salsa pong. Never again.
Theres a freshman smoking a pipe on campus. This new class is setting a new standard we're not ready for
i feel like the wall was a canvas for his penis.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
We sent off fireworks off in the taco bell drive through. They're taking it way too seriously.
I worked hard to give you that boner. No one else should get to enjoy it!
We're super invested in me shitting to my full potential
I'm gonna take a nap by the fireplace and pretend like I know what day it is.
I'm about to smoke a joint alone, do you want to FaceTime and pretend you're smoking it too?
I'm done being drunk I wish I could snap my fingers and be sober
When I finally came to, I was in the DJ booth wearing his headphones while he was spinning. That's all I got.
Randomize
