lesson #67 learned in college: a three day old margarita, is still a margarita.
Actions speak louder than words. Her actions scream crazy.
TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
he then started listing things that have been up his butt, never drinking in boys town again
he suggested we appoligize to eachother. then do blow and painkillers & have ourselves a make-up party.
Well ya in hindsight obviously offering the cop a jello shot was a bad idea
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
Well since its impossible for me to swallow a pill this big I'm making wine slushies out of them
The worst thing about it is now I have to find someone else to fuck in the library.
only i would grind with someone to harp music at a gay wedding
stop falling asleep in the bathtub. you are not a movie star, you cannot die that way.
I just had a 10 minute staring contest with my dog. Can you come over?
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
we found her. shes in the bathtub full of raw pasta. i dont even know...
I was trying to get nudes from last night and ended up getting a family portrait!
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