I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I'm pretty sure there's seven mailboxes in the bathtub...
New major. Tourism Management. I dont know what it is but it sounds like something all the stupid slutty failed business management majors do.
that's not even the weird part though. he already knew where the bathroom was, he might have been here before..
It felt like he was juggling my kidneys with the head of his penis... If you could even call it that, it was more like a lochness monster. Huge and mythical.
I couldn't find my shirt this morning so I stole one from his eight year old sister. Slutted up my outfit quite a bit.
I'm a wonderful, drunk angel of hydration and sometimes absinthe.
Dollar Store pregnancy tests. For when you sorta wanta know.
They have marijuana tests too!
I think I may be the only girl in the world that can say she has fallen asleep grasping a penis..... 3 different times...... 3 different penises
Can you not touch my dick while I'm holding a gecko?
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
Thirty seconds is a long time in jizz time...
My trash can is full of used condoms and girl scout cookie boxes.
I'm sorry for chipping my tooth on your vagina last night :(
TSA found the edibles
Fuck
Oh my god he just. Swiped them for explosives and handed them back to me
God bless California
Randomize
