i think 'regret' was last night's theme. i could taste it in my mouth and woke up next to it.
you win again, gameday.
just saw an anti-abortion rally outside of the courthouse...so naturally i tossed them out a coat hanger i found in my car
I can't. He's too cute and my tongue is too long.
All I remember is yelling RUN as fireworks started going off in the kitchen. Who said that was a bad idea?
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
Last time he went to Europe, every time he started drinking he would wake up in a different country with no memory. There is no way he can be tour leader.
I just had a flashback to the three of us in the bed and me shouting AM I THE BIGGEST OR LITTLEST SPOON?!
So hungover. I dropped my keys and leaning over seemed a terrible idea. Instead I took my shoe off in the middle of the street and use my toes to pick them up. Think I'm a genius.
unless you want this visit to have a different tone... more romantic, less molly in a hotel room
Glitter fights sound a lot funner in theory.
Remember when you gave their 80 year old doorman a line of molly at 5am?
Crazy homeless man drinking beer out of a vitamin water container on the bus just set me up on a date with the yuppie next to him
Throwing up in a storm drain... Not my finest moment.
But my shoes looked boss
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
Randomize
