: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
i just woke up with two martini umbrellas taped to my nipples... idk how they got there
Is it possible for Craig Seger to wear a normal suit and not look like an asshole on national tv?
Well i have to fuck at least one of your roommates this year to keep the tradition alive.
Dude she has the ugliest blow job face ever.
while you've been gone this has kinda turned into some sort of fivesome-type thing. just thought i should warn you for when you get back
Given everything we have talked about, is it wrong to ask you to be faithful to me, despite still dating him?
You slammed your face into the toilet and declared you were moving your bed into the bathroom in the morning. Also, you insisted on crawling everywhere because feet are "overrated."
Just discovered evidence of drunken eBay bid. Drunk Mike did pretty good -- I'm getting a new sleeping bag.
I just need to stick to one night stands and delete social media
With everyone putting up pictures of their moms on Facebook it's time to go single MILF hunting.
She doesn't believe I only want to use you for sex. She has a much higher opinion of me than either of us do.
You're having marijuana delivered to you. You're buying drugs and you aren't even leaving the house. I'm sure he'll be surprised if you're NOT wearing a bathrobe.
All I want right now is a waffle and some fried chicken and a penis.
I can’t believe the first text I’m sending you from this phone was about how I just got fingered in a smart car on tin can hill
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