Mines from giving head on hardwood floors.
So, just so you know... Your vasectomy worked.
bonus
I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I think we should take up crocheing or stamp collecting....something completely lacking penises
If I had cancer, and got to make a wish, id make the organization force your dad to fuck me.
He has a bathrroom scale in his room with an alarm attached to it so anything over 150 sets it off and in his drinking stupper he can make a run for it.
gay sex achievement: unlocked
what
you told me you were going out for groceries!!
In Punta Cana for my bachelor trip, hopefully tomorrow my passport is blacklisted
he appreciated my fucking vagina for two hours he can appreciate my honesty
JUST DENIED A NEW YEARS KISS BECAUSE HE WAS A COWBOYS FAN.
DONT TELL ME I CANT HAVE AN ENTIRE BOTTLE OF VODKA AT DINNER. IM AN ADULT. I PAY BILLS.
I am the oldest one here and I STILL feel like I need an adult. help.
Ok well my life just seems more exciting by default because I'm dating my married boss and sexting with my ex
I am beginning to doubt your commitment to my making poor choices tonight
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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