Just used the D.E.N.N.I.S system successfully.
I think any school that has COCKS written on it's baseball hats has their priorities straight.
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
Chasing shots by shotgunning beers is not a good idea.
I'm not throwing down for dinner because I plan to have so much tequila I puke it up anyways. How much is a cab home?
Just don't let me fall on anything that can be broken. Unless its a dick
You would ignore him even if it wasn't NoManUary. It could be the Winter of a Thousand Dicks and you wouldn't talk to that guy.
The Winter of A Thousand Dicks sounds terrifying!!!
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
Dude, i don't know. I don't remember anything after we started chanting/playing "shot of gin."
I have a calendar reminder for world domination today, you wouldn't happen to know anything about that would you?
1. I'm excited for tonight 2. Do we dress up as pirates? 3. Happy Valentine's Day bae
Do you remember me asking for jerk off videos from Tinder guy?
Nah I don't remember that being part of the criteria
U just kept yelling her vagina wasn't a priority bc u had a bowl of cheerios calling your name
Apparently someone was hiding in a storm drain dressed as Pennywise from it and offering passersby free penis enlargement pills.
"I mean like shit happens" should never be an excuse for anything
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