Bc you can definitely buy condoms if ur a 14 year old girl
I just realized that I've become that person they make the alcohol warnings on medicine for.
I cannot stress to you how much better your current situation is than listening to gay sex
Somewhere out there, someone is getting laid. And then theres me, watching Star Trek porn while my roommate plays World of Warcraft next door
my facebook is like a giant collection of my one night stands
Balcony sex scratched the shit out of my phone. Whups.
I must say your penis is just as photogenic as you
he knocked over the vodka and juice...picks up the cup and says "yes", takes the last sip...doesnt even worry about the mess all over the floor and we continue having sex.
Just fucking put out. It'll be a good lay, promise. Stop being a prude. Damn it. A boy is trying to put his penis in you. APPRECIATE IT.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
I've injured myself in such a way that i am only capable of making love standing up now
And then she sprinted three blocks through live traffic towards McDonalds screaming "THE GOLDEN ARCHES ARE CALLING ME"
I am going to paint butt plugs like little Christmas trees and give them as gifts.
You could paint cock rings as wreaths.
You sat on me. Like I was a toilet. While I was on the toilet. You peed a little.
Of course his biggest mistake was assuming that I ever gave a fuck to begin with.
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