Im watching he's just not that into you, eating way too much pizza, and feeling very single.
Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
If a cop asks you "Where do you go for fun?", it's not a pick up line...especially if he just pulled you over.
She is definitely tripolar. Like bipolar but better/worse.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
well in DOG beers, i've only had one
Fair enough. Everyone has some guilty pleasures. Yours is yourself
I wish you were awake and high the same times I was awake and high. And also in the same state. So we can fuck passionately.
Last night you said you were going to stop drinking and then proceeded to dip cookies in your vodka.
Sadly that explains a lot.
I just woke up ass naked on top of all my sheets, with no blinds in my room because i used them as togas, my back is killing me, im covered in sharpie, i have no memory of last night, and im pretty sure im still drunk. I consider the night a success
The impact your presence has on my vagina without even putting your hands on me is quite astonishing, impressive and a little disturbing.
I found one of those wine glass confetti bits in my ass crack.
How do you nicely stand up a date that you're skipping for a 3sum
You date? I thought you just hooked up with your TAs
I tried to breakup with him by telling I had a threesome. He one upped me by saying he had a 5-some so I couldn’t do it.
Randomize
