As heartfelt as your proposal was- I will NOT marry for money- especially to someone who still owes me $700. You r officially pathetic!!
The solution to mudbutt is never ever Clorox wipes. It stings soooooooo bad.
Good thing you left when you did - ended up getting banned from jimmy johns.
i found her half dressed with her feet in the washer..she said it was sooo warm.
I should have but it might be too early in this fuckbuddyship to emasculate him
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
When they arrested me, they gave me a bracelet with my mugshot and info. When you get one they can be our BFF Bracelets.
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Lets be real here, you loved it when I was on top. With and without the machete.
As long as he continues to be our subleaser and continues to fuck me, I think it's acceptable for me to steal a piece of bread here and there.
we had a "who's sex playlist is better?" fight.....
With great boredom comes great irresponsibility.
Please tell me you're not on their roof again..
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Why did I not realize how important my fridge was till I was drunk. It keeps all my food cold its like my own cold box
Leave it to my mom and I to turn the hearing into a drinking game.
Randomize
