Yeah..And after he fingered me, he wiped it on my face and laughed.
ew wtf
Just set all my clocks a minute apart. Now my 4:20 is longer by sixfold
Couldn't see or hear that well because she hit me on the back of the head with a bat. That is my excuse. Also the gin.
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
I'm currently giving my drug dealer relationship advice. He's a nice guy and all but I'm really just hoping I get some free weed
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
My boobs are literally freaking out because I've been wearing a bra for more than three hours....I need to go out more...
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
sending my old camp counselor nudes. childhood memory win or new low?
So I had Xanax for breakfast & I'm probably going to fuck my tennis instructor.
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
I had an awesome dream where you were a stegosaurus and I was a triceratops and we were hiding from a t-rex and had mad dino sex
"You can have sex in my class, just stay quiet. I don't like noise." My professor... Shall make for an interesting semester.
you going clubbing tonight?
well its tuesday isnt it
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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