it hasn't hit me that college is over yet. so far at home, i haven't brushed my teeth, taken off my makeup, or changed clothes before bed.
saw him outside... he got fatter, i got blonder. the winner is obvious.
I just remembered Dan asking me all polite in the middle of sex "do you mind if I get behind you?" that was the most polite way I've been asked to do it doggy style
Zach says you can't see his penis until after we're married...not sure why?! Bt then he said he thinks maybe you already have on the wild animal night!
The lawn was on fire, but I fixed it.
If im paying 4grand for laser eye surgery, it better help with beer goggles cuz last night was pretty rough.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
Currently cooking 3lbs of bacon in case the power goes out bc if even one slice of bacon goes to waste then sandy wins
I have a boner in one of my pics with her which no one noticed.
coughing up blood. I'm leaving for the doctor now. P.S. I just won $350 on the wheel of fortune machine in the casino.
Honestly, the only reason I've been productive today was because I ended up organizing my apartment while searching for my vibratory charger.
Had sex on your trumpet just an fyi.
Dude you came into the room last night soak and wet and told me you just took a shit in the shower
I did put on a shirt to start the night, right?
All time low: no dry towels so I'm using the sex towel to dry off
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