My mom wanted me and my brother to have some bonding time before I left for school. Our bonding time consisted of us smokin a few bowls then goin to Red Robin to cure the munchies. Ooo how I love family time :)
This dude is being a total douche
Just because it's Christmas Eve does not mean the liquor store has to give you a free bottle of peppermint schnapps
note to self: an IV pole is no substitute for a stripper pole. Written it on my ankle cast.
I need someone to get my backpack from the bar before class tomorrow. I have to give my students their papers back.
Haha its ok. When we got back you sat in the car and attempted to tell me in sign language you were blacked out lol
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
It was like the devil him self busted his red hot satanic nuts all over my face and burned my eyes out of my innocent sockets.
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm watching the Brazzers version of Mary Poppins and enjoying it. Volume on and all. 45 minutes.
At least I had a $10 coupon for Plan B today. Smart shopping for bad decisions
He asked me for a pic so I sent him a pic of my boyfriends dick.
I woke up this morning wearing his boxers as a shirt
How fast can you get here?\nI need to ride your cock into the sunset.
I have bruises all over my legs. Did I hit a car with my bike last night?
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