just saw a guy try to order booze in his coffee at 8 am.
Don't judge me. Haven't eaten all day so I'm in my room sticking my finger in peanut butter, then jam, then my mouth.
Taljing aboutpenisrs w gerruly ska pops
I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I mean, he was my book buddy in 1st grade. The kid taught me how to read, the least I could do was give him head.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
can we just pause for one second and address the fact that balls were out last night
It's almost like a boob-text, but it's not. Because it was live. And you were showing a bunch of people.
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
I just ate 6 cheeseburgers with some homeless guy. Pretty epic.
Well he's a 33 year old furniture salesman that picked up at 19 year old buying a bedroom set for her room. I can see how that would be awkward
If I was a guy I'd keep a condom in my pocket, in my wallet, in my backpack, in my car, in my shoe, behind my fucking ear
Mike Pence got the fuck boy eyes though
I use my feet as sexual weapons
I farted in the parking garage and it echoed.
Randomize
