what happens if a cat eats a birth control pill? i mean i don't care about the cat i really just don't want to get pregnant
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
Also just realized how inappropriate it looks to other drivers to finish bottles of cheap champagne at stoplights
i'm sorry, but my penis isnt the solution to your problems
I gave him head while he watched NASCAR. My future flashed before my eyes.
nothing like a walk of shame in front of a cnn news crew to start the morning off right
OH MY GOD I CAN'T WAIT TO BONE YOUR EX BOYFRIEND. HOW AWKWARD IS THIS?
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
GUESS WHO STILL HAS BOTH NIPPLES!
He ate a Doritos taco from my boobs. Does your boyfriend do that?
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
My life is literally "I'm too horny you can't leave" or "let's have pie" there's like no inbetween
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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