so the guy who showed me the apt today is now texting me and asking me out for drinks...he's at least 20 yrs oldr than me and highlights his hair, but part of me is wondering how low i can talk him down in rent during sex? wrong?
whatever. i fb stalked him and his pic comments are witty. so i'm going for it.
Hangover cure: shower, throw up again, sleep for 4 hours, eat salsa, brush teeth. Good to go.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
They poured beer (3 cans) down the toilet so bubbles can be drunk in fishy heaven
Remember when we had a keg, and then another 5 cases... and like 30 people drank it all?
Everything hurts.
I totally just somersaulted to the bathroom to avoid moving out of my fetal position
I don't know if I should be concerned or impressed.
I cannot be this high in this house. This house has so many of my secrets in its walls.
At my eighteen year old cousin's wedding. Getting hit on by a 9 year old. No one knows who he came with. I'm pretty sure he just showed up from the field behind the church. Help.
the whole bar just wished me luck with my booty call tonight
Drunk yoga at 11 am turned into me sitting on the couch making fun of the girl in the instructional video. By the way, what the fuck is a third eye?
It's like your tits told gravity 'fuck you, I'm fine right here!'
It's funny when you can't take a fishing boat because you fucked the captains wife
I can get something to clone your cock for $40. It's worth it. It's my birthday present to myself.
OMG I CAN GET A GLOW-IN-THE-DARK ONE
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
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