I specifically asked you not to be slutty tonight.
I can't make any promises. I've tried my best to stay celibate. But if a guys on top of me, Im gonna tell him to stick it in.
I thought all girls wanted is to get a boner
you want to re-phrase that?
Any time before 12:00pm. Can go fuck itself.
i just drank the rest of the vodka . Btw why did we put candy corn in it?
I smell like I just crawled out of a bottle of champagne and landed on the floor of taco bueno.
I think I'm about to have sex with a second person before noon hehehhe! You're welcome America.
You know summer is almost over when ur school booty calls start hitting u up as if solidifying their spot in drunken mistakes for next semester
I am not exagerating when I say the thought "screw you future me" actually just went through my head
Where are you? Your parents are here. Their flight got in early.
Trashy Tequila Tuesdays. Have them meet me here @ the bar.
I'm not sending your parents to see you drunk at a gay bar. What kind of boyfriend do you think I am?
A great one. Entertain them i'll be home soon....... I think
He started a convo with me by saying that we went to high school together and then recommended I try meth.
Best case scenario I do a bunch of dirty things to you, blow your mind and you enjoy it. Worst case I stare at you, poke at you, smile and droll on myself, you laugh.
He better be a good lay, these underwear cost $50.
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
He climbed over 2 rows of the cab and told some random girl we were riding with that he would be in the back seat if she wanted to have sex
Randomize
