Is there a tactful way for me to ask a girl to let me know when she gets her period?
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
When I came home you were watching infomercials, eating croutons out of the box and salsa from a funnel. Well done.
Maybe I need a light up heart over my vagina like Christina aguilera to get the point across
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
I found my phone outside under the leaves by the curb. What the fuck did I do last night
She drove all the way from Austin to have sex with me. I think it's a safe assumption my dick will have an easy life in college.
At one point, you closed your eyes and asked me which 'six flags' we were at
This dude has my number from April last year. Drunk me left sober me a puzzle. No confirmation of pants off business
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
You just jumped of the couch and yelled "hidden tiger crouching dragon!" That's the answer to how you broke your finger.
I don't know if trying Molly for the first time before my flight was an awesome or aweful idea
Settled one third of the tab. Am going back for sex. Love you, make friends
I woke up with your vibrator in my face
Way to fucking accidentally drunk dial me while you're talking to and buying other girls drinks. Don't call me.
Randomize