I hate when my naked walk-arounds are interrupted by someone knocking on the door
Bob the builder, bob the uilder bob the builder bbbbbbbbbbbbbbbbjbbbbbiotch!pp!!!!
I was to drunk to walk in jimmy john's so I called and got a pickle delivered to me outside the bar , too much?
i decided i'll just settle for a gay guy who can manage to fuck me like the straight guys do. but here i go again, talking about my dream man.
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
Thats not how it works. You get the Rachel, and then Rachel kicks you out. Don't linger or try to cuddle, its just pathetic and makes me look down on you and your penis
Chilling. The soap was talking at one point if I rememeber right...
Thanks be to the Goddess of Whores!! I straightened my bed before Ken got here. Found Calvin's boxers in the sheets!!!!
Hey, if I can't get it and you're still alive, can you get the glass out of my foot? Happy Sunday.
The woman that sang I Touch Myself died today. There's only one appropriate way to honor her memory.
I'm on the job.
All I am going to say is this: I woke up with lots of bruises on my knees from running around on all fours being a 'dinosaur'. Either girls night in went terribly wrong or terribly right.
You kept insisting you found queso that's better than oral sex
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
I just wanna inform you guys that the first pregnancy scare of 2016 is over...
About that photo of the cake you just sent. You do realize it’s on a glass table, right? We can all see your reflection in it, and you’re very obviously naked.
Randomize
