i had a dream the other night i was titty fucking you while you were asleep, then you woke up and didn't care.
he rolled over and started playing skeeball on his iphone after we had the best sex yet considering he only lasted 10 seconds last time.. im getting standards.. tomorrow. for now im just going to enjoy the fact i counted over 20 this time.
I have now ridden the bus with a ninja, a samurai and Jesus. Who says the bus is for losers.
Walking home still drunk in snow. Snowflakes are my only hydration..Need moreee
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
Having drunken flash backs of me giving you a piggy back ride. I was like Jesus, and you were my cross. I fell so many times for you. This is true friendship.
He woke up, got my bottle of water and poured it on me and then went back to sleep. Not really how I want to wake up at 2 a.m.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Bruce the cab driver wants to take me on a date to see Taken 2
I can't believe I left out the part about him peeing on the side of Route 2 at 3 a.m. while wearing a dress.
I woke up with a bloody knee, 6 burn marks on my thigh and glitter nails If anyone asks I'm going to say You came into town
I feel like I just want to take a shot of jack, have sex, and shoot myself in the face. In that order exactly.
Then he kissed my hand sensually and said "you're a Black Queen. Don't let anyone tell you different."
he just left the suite without pants on wrapped in Christmas lights
Well we can add this to the list of 'where the hell did that bruise come from?'
Randomize
