My mind said no, but my drink said yes.
i wish i could swallow nair and shit it out and it would get rid of all my ass hair.
I woke up in what appears to be a taco bell graveyard in my bed.
I'd like to come home and be able to sleep in a bed that's not filled with crumbs from you getting too high and passing out while eating. This is seriously getting ridiculous.
I don't know, but I don't want you to think its ok to show up at my house at 4 am with a gorilla suit and a bucket of pinnapple and think id be ok with it
Why are there maracas in the dishwasher?
I'll report later on the progress of the mountain orgy
So I woke up in a strange bed with a note taped to my arm giving me directions back to my brothers apartment.
Is everything ok? Last time I missed your call you were being arrested.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
my heart is telling me chinese, but my head is telling me beer.
someone wrote my own number down on my hand and then call me.
All the drunken hookups over the last year are self destructing, at least something is keeping nursing school interesting
You've got until 8 and then I'm kicking down your door and pouring a beer down your ass via funnel
yea so the plan to relive our college glory days was great and all but ending up in the er with alcohol poisoning was crossing the line
Randomize
