69 is so not fun when his penis is sporting a 70s hairstyle
that girl looks like she smells like hot dog water...
week 6 of class: i have yet to go to spanish sober. i love being THAT girl.
I've grown up since last year. I don't give blow jobs as birthday presents anymore.
it'll be like the batcave but for manwhores
So if you ever need to know a guy who knows a guy who knows a guy that can put a 24oz beer can up his ass... Hit me up...
but I'll probably watch some porn later so it's not a complete waste of a Saturday night.
So feel off my bed lastnight into the trashcan. On the plus side i thought under my bed was a cave and i went exsploring
there's an entire drinking game devoted to nobody liking her face
Oh and Dustin informs me I'm a legend amongst the freshman, if you were wondering about my street cred
Just kidding. Don't worry, you're getting sugar and orgasms for Valentine's day.
I'm fine w planning around your penis prospecting. Saturday it is.
I just realized. I havent even gotten a paycheck from this new job yet and already laid one of the girls most of the dudes are after
Dude 4th of July week was our like 5th anniversary of you sending me dick pics ❤️
I don't know whether to cheer for the free bourbon, or cry from the screaming children.
Randomize
