Nothing commands respect in a meeting like Jack Daniels on the breath. You're fine.
wow... just woke up to find out that the OJ we used in my bong last night was poured back into the carton
his penis was crooked so i rode him at an angle. he seemed used to this.
the entire lecture hall sighed when the prof announced that there will be an exam on 4/20
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
Um, so I couldn't say it in person, but if you find my underwear in your office. Sorry. I couldn't find them, so yea.
Can't tell if its the LSD or if that demon man just stared at my penis. Cleveland is a weird place. All true stories.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
Went home with a male stripper who looked like Justin Timberlake.. I started singing cry me a river mid sex. When he sang along I fell in love
Rock bottom: having sex rejected while your boyfriend talks in his sleep as you stuff your face with Girl Scout cookies
I made him leave to get me chicken nuggets so I could have sex with his roommate
Quick question, did I crash teeth with you when I snogged you, or did I headbutt something between the car and the bed last night?
Hey do you or anyone you know want to get drunk for free? At 4pm tonight at rctc for field sobriety training for future cops
I just woke up and I don't really remember anything past 1pm. How much am I missing?
A good 10-11 hours. You got laid twice. Also, you out-ran a cop and played football with a lamp.
He has a syndrome called asshole. And it flares up 24/7.
Randomize
