Do you still have your period?
When you wake up, I have rum and am in town
When I told my boss I'm using a vacation day for 4/20, he gave me his personal cell phone number and winked at me.
Just watched the couple I sit for and 4 of their friends shotgun beers like college kids. Please let this be us when we get older.
Bring single women, or taken women who are unhappy with their relationships, or women who are happy with their relationships but have low moral standards, or women who just like to remove clothing when drunk (relationship status is unimportant for this option)
Someone woke me up and gave me a sprite and some pills. I put them in my belly button. Trust no one.
when you wake up in a apartment hallway wearing someone else's shoes, you can pretty much assume last night was a success.
Before I roll over explain to me why you're naked and on my floor.
You had a hot dog outside the bar then made me stop at McDonald's for a double quarter pounder. I'd say you've more than filled your drunken meat quota.
It's 4/20 of course I'm going to smoke in the portapotty and be ripped outta my mind at the lung cancer walk.
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
You know I'm dangerous when I have make-out withdrawals
All's fair in love and war. and tinder.
Simple revenge plan: break into his house and steal one shoe of every pair
He and I tag each other in memes all day. You could say it's getting pretty serious.
Randomize
