Yup u can hook up with me now and not goto jail
Bristol Palin says: Remember to use protection
It was my birthday today and i decided that i am not checking my notifications on facebook so ill feel popular
Wrong number and your a loser
Does Vicodin go better with white or red wine?
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
the best sex is "duke just lost" sex.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
My neighbors are outside blasting Hootie and the Blowfish while drunkenly hitting a stump with a hammer. I could get used to this.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
I WAS JUST SITTING HERE BEING SNIFFED BY ODD WOMEN FOR A SOLID 5 MINUTES. My face was a twist of utter fear and confusion...
may or may not have figured out a way to make my mom a drug mule to bring me ecstasy...
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
I didn't think I was even that high but when we were standing in the cop car's headlights I totally forgot how to use my arms
If y'all wanna know how far the apple fell from the tree I'm sexting during Easter service. Mom would be so proud 😳
she just punched him in the balls in front of everyone and yelled "YOU SEE WHAT YOU MADE ME DO"
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