I found out he doesn't have a facebook, twitter, or myspace. So, I'm going to actually go to his house to spy on him.
Not only do prius' look terrible they are terrible to have sex in
don't thank me. stop putting your penis in foreign objects.
He threw a goldfish cracker into my toilet and then proceeded to laugh for 32 minutes. I timed it.
We ended up on a hotel balcony in Daytona where she lured a seagull down with a pizza crust she found in her purse and preceded to grab it out of the air by it's neck.
We need to put it on a rope attached to the bong, so it can't be dropped. Apparently, you need a stem safety leash.
I guess I could probably fit that in between deep self reflection and teenage mutant ninja turtles
He literally named all the parts of the vagina as he fingered me. No more pre-med virgins.
And I'm determined to make an Eiffel Tower happen sometime. I just don't know who will take the pic (first world sex problem?)
Do you think I'm short enough to dress up in a ghost costume and go trick or treating and have people believe that I'm actually a child?
Let's have sex in an apple orchard
He's a loser but she says we just don't see the good stuff about him. It's like she's dating the Charlie Brown Christmas Tree.
What's clit gel and why is it in my wallet.
You think your roommate is bad? The guy they paired me with is such a nerd, his very presence at a party blocks every cock in the room.
My professor just told my lab he could drive us around town in his 1991 Lincoln towncar limo for our bar crawl. This just keeps getting better!
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