guys are not supposed to queef...right?
I wish guys would just cum water 'cause you don't have to worry about being pregnant and it'd be like a squirt gun fight
We just got really drunk and bought toilet paper. Successful Monday.
Nurse helped me count all my sexual partners and still gave me her phone number. She shall be #73.
I wasn't trying to be rude when I hurriedly walked past you, but I can not put in to words exactly how bad I had to shit.
I see your walk of shame and raise you a day in jail wearing a girls old workout clothes.
Dude tried texting you during but she threw my pants too far away
You stared at the ground for like 20 minutes willing yourself to get sober
I like using largw condoms because they are more comfortable but also I feel bad because it's like false advertisement
he puked all over my guest bed and the said he felt good enough to clean it up. he poured bleach all over the bed and passed out in it. he had the chemiacal burn for a month...
We were fucking and his phone rang and it was his grandma. He just had a conversation with his grandma while fucking me from behind. Then his dad called and asked him what he wanted from taco bell.
I'm taking a pole dancing class this morning. Can I put you down as my emergency contact? I'm NOT putting my mother
Well shove his head down there and tell him not to stop til we have a new president!
Wish me luck. My vagina needs it.
May his noodley appendage touch you.
We were literally making dick jokes with his dick out
That’s the level of friends with benefits I aspire to achieve
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