Call me "white mamba"
Your dick is not a dangerous deadly poisonous snake
It is white.
so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
My mom said I should get that 'not fucking anybody' problem fixed.
No its cool I don't even have to do anything he is rapping to one of the strippers. He is punishing himself enough.
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
It's like we come as a package. Your slogan should be "be in my family, sleep with my roommate."
My slogan can be "bonding the family together. One dick at a time."
I sexy timed too hard and there is an ass shaped piece of a ping pong table now missing bc of it. How am I allowed to leave the house without a helmet?
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
She failed the Charleston discretion test, although puking in her armpit was very innovative.
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
These last 48 hours have just been about deleting my most recent snap story
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
i don't like interrupting booty calls. thats just rude.
dude me and this dog are gonna go bond oon the tramplene with stromboli... i think everyone is staring at me... being this high is SO stressful
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