belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I can't get into him, he looks really young. I'd feel like I was blowing the Gerber baby.
I woke up to 'call me' written in red lipstick on my chest. Thats the hottest/sluttiest thing ever. I win at LIFE!
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
I think you missed the wrong class. Im pretty sure we were taught how to buy cocaine.
Just checked an empty cooler on the flight to Notre Dame. You don't have to tell me you're jealous, I already know.
It's my diet secret . . . it's like slimfast but I call it cockfast instead.
Don't worry I'm alive. The apt is all locked up so I'm sleeping on the patio. The frozen pizza I got might be toast unless someone lets me in soon. If not its all good I'll be here snoring on the patio
Waking up with a sore back because you put the team on it for jager pong all night
Dude you of all people would miss her giving him a handjob in front of the whole party
Does the room smell any better?
Yeah, i sprayed perfume. It smells like Victoria's Secret, if Victoria's secret was that she was homeless.
blue gatorade loses no color upon regurgitation
I love my cat. she doesnt judge when i stumble in my house drunk and pass out on my floor. my dog looks at me disappointed.
I just got free tacos, you would be so proud of me.
Clarification, I got free tacos without performing any sexual favors.
Lesbians just stole my cat :(
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