i'm signing you up for texting rehab
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Bottle rocket just missed my head by about 3 inches. Of course I'm being safe
It's not my theme song, it's my blowjob song. There's a difference.
Last thing I remember was you straddling a guy in a wheelchair on the dance floor.
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
I know. She seems like she getting that "need some dick" restlessness. Might explain the feisty attitude
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I am 100% planning on being drunk on Wednesday. This is America. Work or no work.
he has this weird thing where he watches me pee
DID YOU REALLY JUST GIVE ME A FIRST BASE SIGN
Because she seems like the type to give it up for a box of fruit rollups.
we are not taking body shots with the irish cream
Tune in tm morning for how to buy Plan B in a foreign country while coming down off ecstasy
Randomize
