: south campus drug res life name erik. Love, tran
And i was thinking, 'i'm happy to be underneath you, but i wish you weren't doing THAT.'
fuck your aforementioned shoe
Were playing bathroom attendees at the party and making people wash their hands
i made a dollar
Do you remember calling me a cuntasaurus rex last night?
you are my patron saint of "too drunk for 9am". i just keep asking myself what would alyssa do as i try to regain motor function
one of the RAs is here. he told me his name is optimus prime and then took his shirt off and fell down
So the bartender from Applebees totally looks like he would take his clothes off for $40
I like how you possess the gift that turns normal guys into strippers
The best part of last night was the women's softball game on the TV at the strip club
Thanks for not locking your door. I had to pee and there was a random person throwing up in my bathroom so I used yours. \nPS I stole your soap
I'm auditing financial statements and ur growing weed this is bullshit how did this happen to me
The lady at target couldn't scan my grocery item and just looked at me and said "just take it. I hate this fucking place". Best munchie adventure yet.
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
I can't wait to shower all this regret off of me
Randomize
