yo I wanna see you, bring that beard of yours
It's like God knew that was my ex's best friend and punished me. I've never vomited that much in my life.
Just gave a urinal high five to a complete stranger. Might not be such a bad night after all
I've only left my bed to pee and eat nutella out of the jar with my fingers
oh, you know. just sitting in my bed high as fuck wearing a windbreaker and watching british tv.
I just had someone I don't even know on Facebook message me saying it seems like I drink too much and should slow down.
I feel like fucking him is something we all do but don't want to admit to. like masturbating or peeing in the shower
I think I'm interested in anyone that recognizes I actually have a pulse
He told me he wanted to show me something beautiful, then just started peeing off the bridge into oncoming traffic
Did you blow the guy you weren't supposed to hook up with again in the bathroom of pita pit? Cause that happened last night...
I am pretty damn sure that neither my body or his body is ready for how drunk I am getting tonight
And my only real exposure to Russian culture is you and Internet porn.
I'm running on 2 hours of sleep. Just spent 6 minutes staring at the back of my hand thinking: "I don't really know this that well"
There was a point where you were singing "Friends in Low Places" to yourself while Juicy J was playing so I got worried.
She was topless, yelling this is Sparta, threatening to push her dad into the sewer. I am pretty sure she won't be at school.
Randomize
