Just found my girlfriend's stash of animated Japanese porn
And to think, I actually considered breaking up with her
Either your mom needs to stop making spagetti or we need to lay off the anal. I cant tell you how much im in pain.
Spagetti cuz im not giving up the other one.
just took a shot of real whiskey... i forgot what it's like to drink liquor that costs more than twelve dollars.
he ruins everything I try to do including his roommates
Quick question, how many times can you get chlamydia before your vagina just gives up and falls off?
We looked at pictures of a Texas banjo contest from 2006 for a half hour and then were surprised by who won. That stoned.
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
Bring the pizza ill bring the boundaries we can cross
he's like a horny 3rd grader on cocaine. he needs a leash
You're doing screenings before you set me up again- no child sized dicks allowed.
I knew it was you who came home last night because no one else would walk in at 3 am and start microwaving a burrito
Currently eating Dominos at the bar high as shit so that's how homework is going
What happened last night dude?
YOU SHIT ON MY FUCKING COFFE TABLE THATS WHAT FUCKING HAPPENED!!!
I peed in front of kids, unfortunately
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