Sex don't cost a thang now that you can buy trojans with meal points.
My dad just walked in on me screwing the chick from the bar...the look of relief on his face was sort of hurtful.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
I took both his daughters virginities. There's no way he won't give me a job
Is puking blood really that bad of a sign? Can we pretend this is okay?
It's okay.
Eberyones makin fun of me cuz I found a snail and caught him and put him in a bocks for u
Just got super judged by a walmart cashier for buying diet pills and candy in the same transaction. Like she has her life figured out.
It's home.......I'm going to the store in disguise to get skittles and cake frosting. Then I'll eat the frosting in a dark corner while I cry and wonder what I did to deserve this.
I cannot start working out. If I start to look better, I'll ruin ugly women's chances forever. So, really...I'm doing them a favor...think about it.
Haha I'm surprised I didn't see you I was drunkenly buying $70 in merchandise including a vibrating cock ring at that cvs around that time
He put his hand in my cleavage. NOT ON. IN. BETWEEN. NO more gingers
Good because ass is like 60% of my diet now
it wasnt that bad
you tried to climb into my fireplace while screaming TO DIAGON ALLEY! we didnt even watch harry potter. it was bad
I got a lap dance in honor of your birthday last night.
Thank you.
theres a video...
oh god.
But unlike the human Walter the plant Walter will someday grow to satisfy my needs
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