The worlds most fuckable chipmunk
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
she sounds like chewbacca in bed
does she really think making her boyfriend delete me on facebook is going to magically stop us from hooking up?
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
Have your arms or hands ever gone numb after drinking too much?
Wtf did you do last night?
Vague recollection of me ripping your shirt off at the bar... I hope I asked first, otherwise that's real rude.
dont iron anything. we fucked on the ironing board. details to follow.
New brilliant plan: invite two random okcupid girls to the same bar at the same time, have them compete
As a plus, I've lost 5 pounds in two days, so "party all weekend" is officially a valid diet plan.
Okay first of all, that is a sick ass nickname please call me that forever. Second, i need your help.
Ahh yes. I lost my pants and swimming suit and phone charger. And I've found out who has them all even while hungover. Successful day. Nice party too.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
His PENIS is so fucking big that I always use caps, out of respect.
I'm just going to tell you this I knocked up your girlfriend. I didn't mean to I thought it was somebody else I wasn't drunk but it was dark.
The truth is better her than my wife.
Randomize
