i was about to cum until he started doing shrek impressions.
He's a navy seal. He can stick it anywhere he wants.
I wouldn't necessarily say I'm in her pants...I'd say I'm more on the on ramp to the freeway to the long way to her pants. There really isn't a short cut.
Ok see being that I'm not present or participating your vague texts "neeeeed that" and "vagina" leave a lot to question.
4 months of living in europe has taught me the art of making a drunken stumble look like a dance move
You were a path of destruction, you started with eating half the cake, proceeded by throwing the rest in the sink and dumping water all over it while laughing... then throwing the drunk helmet across the room yelling that you didnt want to wear it... i'd say it was a successful birthday.
He just showed me how to break a chop stick with his ass.
I just saw an easily 300lb shirtless man on a Vespa. My day has been simultaneously made and ruined.
Is it inappropriate to be Drs. Willy Fister and Jess Hewill as a couples costume for Halloween?
Oh we're gynecologists
I just picked up my phone and one shoe from the man mowing the lawn next to the ice rink. He found them in a tree.
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
How awkward is it to have the guy you used to sleep with congratulate you on your engagement? I'll tell you. Very.
Did we actually play with swords last night or did I dream that?
I need to stop waking up with no pants on.
what happened this time
I dont know everyone was gone and there was a bird in the room
"Uno más" are officially my least favorite words in the entire Spanish language.
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