The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
So I'm looking through your google history on your laptop and you have 'is ketchup even remotely nutritious' and 'alcohol with fewest calories but highest alcohol'. What new fad diet are you on because I feel like we could do this together.
you spent the rest of the night making a recipe for mixed drink called "the new years bowel remover". it has 13 parts but judging from the bold all caps, the boiled avocado is the most important
The dry cleaners wouldn't even take our clothes. That's how bad of a night it was.
I'm not sure what happened. But I must have won because I obviously stole two full pitchers of beer from the bar and taped a note on them saying "your welcome"
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
i'm soo broke, the only trip i can afford for spring break is acid
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
If there is a heaven, that's what it will be. Bagel Bites and cunnilingus.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
Every time I start to think he's just not worth the trouble, he puts his face down there and I wanna buy him a car
How you doing tonight? I got my butthole licked so i cant complain.
Umm I might be late. Also I am may or may not have mayonnaise on my ass
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