hey, what are you doing tonight?
sleeping, g'night!
but i wanted to see you :(
sleeping! g'night!(801): i miss you!
stop - you have a right hand - use it!
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
I just realized that all of my cardio comes from dancing on tables.
I convinced her last night that my actual nickname was "No Condom John"
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
long story short: there's a file in the master file cabinet labeled "lube".
I was wondering where I've seen this kid then I remembered I saw him doing lines of blow of his gf's leg while she was sleeping last week.
It's been five and a half years since she and my brother stopped dating. I feel like that's a long enough grace period. Going for it.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
Dude I broke my bong in half this morning. I kicked it as I was jerking off. I would never hide anything from you.
Hippo gnu deer
He pulled the washer 5 feet out from the wall screaming about quarters
totally just got a week extension on my midterm by telling my prof that I had just found out I was adopted
Some kids in a school bus just saw me jacking off in my car. This is how 89% of children find out about sex.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize
