I can get orange kush...
GET IT NOW! WHY IS THERE A DOT DOT DOT?!
He wants to call Lloyd's of London and have my mouth insured.
I guess I tried to spit on a homeless man on the walk home...Out. Of.Hand.
Of course he wants me there for his birthday. If a girl offers you a blowjob for every year of your life, you're gonna want her to be there.
Well yes but because of that incident i now salute to truck drivers
Omg you had literally better be on fire, drowning, and being crucified all at the same time to be calling me at 7:30 in the goddamn morning.
There is nothing more demoralizing than exchanging 150 dollar Christmas gifts with a girl your not sleeping with
Did you hear me? I HAVE THE CONTENTS OF AN NBA PLAYER'S CONDOM IN MY BEDROOM TRASHCAN!! This shit is potentially worth millions of dollars to a fertile young female who is ovulating. How do I sell it fast??
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
You would think that me seductively unzipping my cat feetie pajamas would make him want to fuck me.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
It's Christmas, you should know what a virgin is.
He wanted me to choke him with my feet. So now I feel obligated to start writing my memoir
That portion can talk about stepping out of your comfort zone and how it can potentially kill people
you made me suck your tit in the car and kept saying "good boy. I love you so much. good boy."
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
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