Confirm your location. A cross street is best, but if google mapping yourself is your least-shameful option go for it. ps- going through his mail for an actual address is always an option.
Just boiled hotdogs in bongwater. NOT a good idea.
I'm watching the red sox through my neighbors window from my bathroom. We're winning btw.
He only talks to me during the summer and it's probably because I let him fuck me in my pool last year.
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
I could of sworn you were praying in the strip club.
Just found weed in an empty handle. Who knew Capitan Morgan was also a gardener?
OMG. Hung over at my grandparents house. Threw up on 3 T-stops, countless snowbanks, and the grandparents driveway. Was proposed to last night. Bruised from head to toe from falling down 3 flights of stairs. Debating my intelligence because it seems that "happy new years" is too hard for me to spell. How were your new years festivities?
You told the cop you where the star of the Track team and tried to run away. So yeah, i'm not surprised.
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
Denim handjobs are the worst handjobs. I hate all handjobs. Why do people even.
I'm all dressed in my outfit from last night, and I'm not even the sluttiest person in Walmart right now. God bless Miami.
I knew my sister shouldn't have gone to the bacherlotte party. Two of the other brides maids have black eyes and my fiancé called me and asked if this is the crazy she's marrying
A guy from tinder a while ago who sent me dick pics straight out the gate is a tech on my dad's hospital floor. I was wondering why he looked familiar and why he never took my dads vitals when I was in the room
All I remember is you shouting "THIS KID IS A FREAKIN' NINJA!!" when he dive rolled over a barbed wire fence and proceeded to ask for his 18th beer.
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