They say rihanna has been dating several mets players. They go on to say that she feels safe with them because they can't beat anybody.
I need a DD tuesday morning around 9 AM
I'm scared to ask why.....
1st bikini wax. Jose Cuervo is helping me prepare.
shes the only person ive ever met that could make "i don't swallow" sound sexy
I'm worried I'm going to miss my flight so I set a series of alarms on my phone to act as checkpoints to make sure I'll be there. 2am-stop drinking; 4am-stop fucking stephanie, get some sleep; 5am-wake up, fuck stephanie once more; 6am-get to the airport
mom came into my room and asked to borrow some condoms. We have gotten to the point where it's not awkward anymore.
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
all I remember is repeatedly winking at the fire marshall while he was counting the people in the bar
stop bragging. last time i got laid i got double pink eye, and it was so not worth it
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Currently behind the bar at some asian place, pouring drinks for everyone with a snake around my neck
Go big or go home. Or get a live in house boy you met 7 years ago and feel like you have unfullfilled potential. You know, the usual
rollerskate sex sounded like a good idea...
You shouldn't have to. I think you should bust into work like "pay homage to my magical vagina!"
I need to show you how I feel about you by fucking you repeatedly.
Why did I wake up with a skeleton in my bed? Is it from the lab?
Oh crap, that's where it ended up. Yeah, don't ask.
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