Ana's brother is visiting for the wknd. He came back to our place last night drunk to find me passed out naked it in the shower with the water still running. I was still drunk. We decided it was a good idea to have sex and sleep on the bathroom floor. Woke up this morning spooning and using my towel as a pillow.
Exactly how low is masturbating to your cute professor's lecture videos?
I found out why we traded puke covered dresses in the bathroom.
i just overheard someone saying that they invented the 'tequila mockingbird' last night. sorry, but i found better friends
as I was walking out the door her and her roommate started singing "toot it and boot it".. I'm in love
Plans for halloween need to outrank Caesar, Cleopatra and Mark Antony's threesome...just saying
If the fate of the world hinged on some chubby girl getting laid, the president would dispatch me with a fifth of Jameson immediately and then rest easy.
These cutoffs are too tight but my ass looks like Freedom
WOKE UP NEXT TO A PLATE OF MEATBALLS HAPPY MONDAY
Congratulations! You can now legally do that thing you said you never do again!
THANKS! I'M SO EXCITED TO NOT DO THE THING
OMG YOU GO OUT AND NOT DO THAT THING, GIRL! I SUPPORT YOU 100%!!!
He didn't even get to the first chorus of Hotel California before he started convulsing on top of me.
Go have a frustration cry and get over it
Foreign objects found in purse this morning include: chocolate covered pretzels, pepper spray, and farm animal shaped key chains (you know the ones you squeeze and fake poop comes out, yea those)
i out mim tonsoeep
We are so disgustingly codependent and I wouldn't have it any other way
Randomize