Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
you kept yelling at her to "show me your genitals" until the bouncers told us to leave...at which point you showed them YOUR genitals...
please don't ever take me to a strip club again...
Spent 30 minutes in the board meeting trying to figure out where the foul smell was coming from. Thought it was the guy's feet sitting next to me. Then i uncrossed my legs. Turns out it was my vagina. Thank goodness for travel size febreeeze.
Either he was jacking off or having a seizure next to me in bed. Either way, I was too lazy to help.
you do realize that we pretended we were worms for like 10 minutes and inched around on the ground, don't you?
I've already started drinking so the earlier you get out of class the more coherent I'll probably be.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
The hookup that almost was... Both partys too drunk to migrate to the other.... the universe has won this one.
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
Sangria Sundays can't keep happening. Even my second grade students know I'm hungover. Benji even gave me his oreos its that bad
I got stoned and explored ice caves with a guy who photographs dildos for a living. I win.
I just had a twenty minute discussion about endangered breed dog breeding with an Extremely drunk guy
So many questions...
I don't get a "my roommate is fucking you" discount?!
wow. that really looks like a penis. not a top hat
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